kakak of 6

       final exam is still going here and one exam left which is tomorrow. seriously i cant wait for it. i really excited to end this semester. tomorrow is the last day wuhuuuuuu. come faster please.. 

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last week on friday, 09/12, i'd received a whatsapp from ayahabe saying that cikeya was already in labor room. she had a bleeding that morning and when doing checkup, her cervix already 3cm opened. so the doctor suggested to do caesar (cikeya dont want normal delivery cause she's so scared) at 3.30pm. as i finished my exam at 2, i had a late lunch and packing my clothes and took a grabcar to hospital kpj tawakkal. as i arrived, cikeya already in the labor room with ayahabe and achik was at the cafe.

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achik and i walked together to the OT and suddenly we saw a nurse pushed the baby bed ( i dont know what its called ). achik asked whos baby is that and yes, it was cikeya and ayahabe's baby.. omaigodd im so excited. he looks exactly like abang mukhreez. and yes, its a boy.. again.. welcome to the world little cuzzy.. (( are you ready to fight with abang mukhreez and abang aaron because of the toys??)) 

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alhamdulillah, we're so thankful for this newborn and now, mamatok have 7 grandchild which means that im being a kakak of 6 sister and brothers.

abang mukhreez is really excited for his second brother. as i hold the baby, abang will come to me and he'll be like 'nak tengok baby, nak tengok baby' 'baby comelaaaa, muka dia macam abang' 'keciknya tangan dia' 'abang nak dukung baby, abang nak dukung baby'. he just cant stop from repeating those words and he get really excited when he touch the baby.

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for adik.. well, he knows nothing yet. wthe only thing that he knows when someone asked 'adik, tu baby siapa?" he'll answered 'baby mummy..' and a few seconds later he'll ask again 'mana mak dia' lol adikkkkkk 😂 

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mamatok, irfan and cikcu also came all the way from KB with ayahchik. we're so happy to gather together except for mama cause she's at johor. its such a very meaningful and joyful weekend i ever had. spending time with the toddlers is never wasted for me. even though abang request to play with me at 12 am.. gosh! and yes, im so tired actually handling 3 kids at the same time. they're all are very hyperactive like really really really hyper.. 

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i slept at 3 am since i arrived and every morning this 3 kids will come to me and woke me up. abang especially will shouted 'kakak bangunlaaaa.. kakak bangunlaaaa' sometimes, he even shouted at my ears to wake me up. just imagine, we're all slept at 2 or 3 am and abang already woke me up at 8. 

OH

MY

GOD

i really didnt get enough sleep. but yes, im happy.. they're all so cute even though they love to fight over each other. they also very manja with me.. every night i slept with them as that was what they wanted. i cannot laaa... and when abang or adik or irfan cried, i will cried too..
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adik also in the 'asking' stage like every single thing he'll asked 

siapa buat?

kat mana?

rumah apa?

macam mana?

apa tu?

kenapa?
Mana mummy dia?
Mana papa dia?

untill you got stucked to answer. 

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i still remember the day i told abang that i will go back (to my university), abang was the one who really dont want me to go.. he was shouted "tak boleh balik!!! tak boleh balikkk!!' everytime i mentioned about 'balik'. 

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and when the time that i really have to go back, abang shouted again and again.. he really dont want me to go back. when i wore my tudung, adik asked me 'kakak nak pergi mana?' gosh!!! how should i answered this?? i said 'kakak nak balik' sambil tahan nangis and adik be like 'aaaaaa, tak boleh balik tak boleh balik.. tak ramai orang' my god, how should i reacted to this? i really want to cry at that time. its such a heartbreaking to hear those words from the kids. 

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and irfan was with me until we arrived at my college. irfan really really want to follow me to enter the gate. he ran towards the gate and wait for me to enter that. seriously irfan? why this kids are so innocent.. they melts my heart in their own way that i really cant... 

as i entered my room, i put all of my things and without saying hai to all my roomates, i went to my bed and cried hardly until the night. i continued crying over and over again till i realize that its already subuh the next day..

huwarghhhh i really miss this kids. and the baby also.. when i want to go back, i hug and kisses the baby and he also look at me and hope that i didnt go, i guess. and i always expect that they'll miss me too.. they'll cry because of missing me and cant sleep and dont want to drink and eat cause they really miss their kakak but the reality, its always like this

'nak kakakkkkk, nak kakakkkk... oh wait, is that toys? helloo toysss.. eh ada tab jugakkk, nak tgok didi, nak tgok upinipin' and a few minutes later they'll never remember kakak again and kakak will never exist in their mind again untill they meet kakak in the next episodes.

well, expectation always hurt..