yourstruly.com: A promise

hey there! last friday, i decided to go to abang mukhreez and adik aaron's house at cheras. i just missed them a lot even though i already met them for the past 2 weeks. so after asar, i took a grabcar and went to cheras.. as i arrived, only ceya and adik were at the home. i hugged adik tightly and played with him until ayahabe and abang come back from work and school and abang was like "eh kakak rupanya.. patutlahh ada selipar" lol abang..

then we were happily playing this and that, here and there.. im so happy with this boys, seriously.. and the most unforgettable part was, i promised to them ( especially abang, cause adik understand nothing ) that i will slept over at his house.. abang was so happy when i said that and he being such a nice boy that day.. he was listened to every words that i'd said. and when dinner time abang was like "papa duduklah sana, abang nak duduk sebelah kakak'', which made me felt soo touched.. and adik also came near to me and sat with me..

then, we decided to go to putrajaya at ayah juan and cik ajue's house as there was a 'workshop' for #matesah's wedding doorgift. and again, in the car abang sat beside me and playing with his tab and said "kakak tengoklahh, tengoklahhh" ad i felt touched again and again. i felt very needed at that time..

everything was running smoothly, until we want to go back to cheras and everyone especially nurin and kaknona be like " janganlahh balikk janganlahh balik.. tidurlahh sini please please please.." they was begging me again and again which made me soo confused.. kaknona and nurin also went to ayah abe and said "boleh tak deeyana tidur HHP?'' ((hamshihomeputrajay))

and im staring and ayahabe and inside my heart saying that "ayahabe please say please say no.. i'd promised to abang and i really want to sleep with abang.. just say no please please please"

and seem like ayahabe didnt heard what my heart said as he said "okayy.."

OMG!

why ayahabe why???

i dont know what to do.

my heart want to be with them.

but another heart want to be with abang and adik.

can i just separated my body into two so there's nobody hurt?

can i?

and the hardest part was when i went to abang in the car and sadly said to him "abang, kakak tak jadi tidur rumah abang tau" and he was smiled nicely to me but didnt want to salam me.. only adik that grab my hand and salam me..

oh boy, why you make me felt guilty.. why you hurt me like this.. why abang why..

and ceya said "dia marah la tu"

my jaws dropped and my heart breaksssss into pieces..

i felt very guilty to the max..

im sorry abang, im really sorry that i didnt work what i said..

despite that, i love you so much that only Allah knows it.

and i cried hardly as they leave :(

#dramasangat

but really, that situation was just really emotional and just so sad..

as i entered back at the house everyone were looked at me and laughed to me.. lol, whats so funny dude.. they said ''lukakan hati budak kecik pun nak nangis ke?"

lol, you just tried looked at abang's face and you will know what i felt.. deeply inside his heart must said " why kakak why? "

or am i the one who overthinking kind of girl?

and whatever it was, i still felt happy with this bunch (kaknona, nurin, and others). jazari came and played with me just as same as abang and adik..